I shudder to think of the number of times I’ve judged a book by the cover that my mind wrapped around it. Maybe that’s why being unemployed a few years ago was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned many, many life-altering lessons on so many, many levels.

I humbly and with red face confess that prior to being without work, I often thought that nonworking people were perhaps lazy, unmotivated, or uneducated. Yet, I considered myself none of those things, and there I was, among the unemployed, despite hundreds of hours and numerous attempts to the contrary.

It was during that time period that I began to look into someone’s eyes, not merely make eye contact. It was at that time that I began to listen, not merely to hear. It was through my own time of need that I began to hear not just the words that others spoke but, perhaps more importantly, the ones they left unspoken.

Oh sure, I did all of those things before—when I wanted to and when I felt that the person “deserved” my understanding or my empathy. But my sincerity level skyrocketed after my own situation plummeted.

Why am I sharing this? Because the next time someone sits down next to you or in front of you at church, on the bus, on the plane, or in the restaurant, I want you to throw out your preconceived notions and teach your mind a new approach:

Look, Listen, and Learn

Look at the person as simply that: a person. Not an unemployed person, a disabled person, a person with low income, a thin person, a heavy person, a person of another color or ethnicity, or as a person who (in your eyes) could do better in life. No. Just simply see a person. A person Jesus loves. A person whose life is not your life; therefore, their problems, reactions, and motivations are not yours. And a person who, therefore, may not fit into your current “box.”

Trust me—this is very difficult to do. You will learn much more about yourself in this exercise than you will about the other person. You may find yourself remolding the size and shape of your “box” or, better yet, throwing it out completely.

The Heart of the Matter

If you can train yourself to simply see a person (thereby removing your preconceived notions), you will also learn to look at, listen to, and learn more about the person in front of you. When you see who that person is, hear what that person is truly saying (sometimes through what is left unsaid), and learn what that person is like, you will begin to see as Jesus sees, for you will see the most beautiful part of that person: the heart. And in the end, the heart (spirit, character, inner being) of a person is the only part that matters.

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