It was 1982. We had only been dating a few months when my “beau” at the time took me to a basketball game at the college we were both attending. We had a unique relationship right from the start: laughing, talking easily, and never running out of things to learn about each other. But that day, while watching the game, we hit a “first” that threw me for a loop:

Neither of us was saying anything. It was suddenly silent.

My overly naive reaction at that point in our what turned out to be multiple years together was to panic. In fact—and remember: I admitted that I was naive (and did I mention the word emotional?)—I turned my head in the opposite direction and began to get tears in my eyes. The silence continued as he enjoyed the game and enjoyed being with me and as I continued to think that our relationship was now doomed because there was silence, and we had run out of things to say to each other.

As I sincerely tried to be sneaky about wiping away the tears that were gradually finding their way down my cheeks, my beau saw what I was doing and asked me why I was crying. “It’s silent. We have nothing to say to each other. And I thought we were going to be together a long time.” Bless his dear heart, he didn’t laugh, make fun of me, or run away as fast as he could—surprisingly!

He just looked at me, smiled sweetly, and said, “We’re finally at the place where we’re secure enough to be silent.” That’s all it took. I was fine; we continued to spend time together and to date for quite a while after that, until God, in His great wisdom for both of us, led us in opposite directions.

But that simple, patiently and tenderly spoken statement has stuck with me all these years.

My loving, patient God speaks that same thought to me often:

Be still and know that I am God. —Psalm 46:10, NLT

It’s as if He looks at me tenderly—in the midst of my naive emotions and moments of panic—and says, “Be secure enough in Me to know that silence is okay, Brenda. I’ve got this. Find rest, calm, and certainty in the relationship you have with Me.” And when I hear those words, I find an unsurpassed security in the silence that demonstrates calm, trust, and hope.

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