The movie Hitch is one of my all-time favorites. I’ve been known to watch it multiple times in one month…okay, week…fine, I’ll admit it: day! It’s hysterical (funniest dance scene in any movie ever!); it’s light on objectionable elements, such as language or content; and I love that the “normal guy” wins!

For some reason, one line from this movie has been on my mind a lot lately. Albert, played by actor Kevin James in the movie, is speaking of his seemingly unattainable love interest and says, “You know what it’s like getting up every morning feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is…with the wrong man but, at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it’s never going to be with you?” Seriously. That gets me every time, and I’m pretty sure I sigh out an “awwwww,” each time! Is that love or what?

It resonates with all of us because, well, who wouldn’t want to know and feel that kind of selfless love? But oddly enough, this Hollywood movie also strikes a chord with me, as a believer in Christ, reminding me that I must care more about another person’s relationship with God than I care about their relationship with me. When I do that, I am living out the selfless love of Christ—something so much easier to talk about or to write about than to actually do.

Let me give you a real-life example. I had a conversation yesterday with someone whose relationship with me I treasure dearly. Without disclosing details, the friend was tired, and I was tired, and something was said that sent up a red flag of “don’t go there” in my mind. I made an off-the-cuff remark that implied we should change the conversation, but I never addressed it with the other person’s best interest at heart. Truth be told, I was afraid the person would think I was being a—for lack of a better term—”goody two shoes.”

This afternoon, after a heart-prodding God-and-I-time, I had to honestly answer the question I’ve often asked others: “Is this relationship so important to you that you’re willing to sin to keep it?” I wrote a note to this person, and, without “preaching” I explained what I hadn’t said courageously last night: that I was uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken. The initial response was in keeping with the godly character of the recipient of my words, and I was grateful. Only time will tell if the words were relationship enders or relationship enhancers. But I’m going to have to tell you honestly: it doesn’t matter.

What mattered was knowing that my relationship with Christ was at peace because I was following His request for my obedience. What mattered was expressing to the recipient of my words: you matter, but God matters more—to both of us. It was a risk that had a reward for everyone involved!

Is there someone whose acceptance of you has become more important to you than knowing that your relationship with Christ is at peace? Is there someone whose acceptance of you needs to be less important to you than your knowing that their relationship with Christ is stronger because you courageously laid the relationship on the line so that their walk with Christ would be unhindered, even if it means you are no longer in the picture? (By the way, these relationships might be family relationships, friendships, work relationships, or dating relationships.)

I guess what I’m sharing is this: Care enough about the other person to risk taking second place…to Christ!

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