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My Flight Operations Manual

The Captain’s Corner

On my bookshelf is a large three-ring binder titled Flight Operations Manual (FOM). It’s about two-and-a-half inches thick, with subject tabs that cover topics such as emergency procedures, weather, passengers, baggage and cargo, maintenance, reports and forms, etc. The list is extensive. As a pilot, I had to know, memorize, or at least know where to find the information necessary to conduct the flight. I carried this manual with me while on duty, which included having it by my side in the cockpit.

Thankfully, God has given us a similar “flight operations manual” in His written letter to us, the Bible. It contains the topics we need to know about (and apply) as we journey through life: the facts of creation, the sin of all humankind, God’s plan of redemption through Christ, guidance for daily Christian living, etc.

Consider the promises of Scripture:

2 Timothy 3:16 (NKJV) – “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” God’s Word is valuable and sufficient!

Psalm 119:105 (KJV) – “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” God’s Word gives guidance and direction for our lives!

Just as it was important for me to know and study the FOM, it is supremely important to read and study God’s matchless, unchanging Word to equip us for godly living.

_______________________________________

Joe Henderson, Brenda’s husband, is a retired international airline captain and now blogs in “The Captain’s Corner” on a regular basis.

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By Petals from the Basket | June 29, 2017 | Bible Reading, God-and-I-Time, The Captain's Corner |

My First Year As a Second Wife

Expectations. That’s probably one of the most common threads that has run through my first year as a second wife—unfulfilled expectations, unrealistic expectations, and most importantly, beyond my highest expectations!

Communication. That’s probably the key element that I have relied upon during my first year as a second wife—learning to listen, staying consistent to who I am, accepting truth, talking freely, remaining silent, speaking up, laughing often!

Uniqueness. That’s probably the greatest gift I’ve been given in my first year as a second wife—having a husband who understands that I’ll do things differently, accepting the fact that we are both in a new season of our lives, knowing that what works for us may not work for others because what worked for others most likely would never have worked for us!

Yes, my husband was married before. His first wife, a friend of mine and my father’s former secretary, passed away in 2015 after a long-term struggle with heart disease. They were married for over forty years and had a love that ran deep.

He has, on rare occasions, called me by her first name. From the very beginning, I did not find that awkward. It was a habit of his, and I understood that. For over forty years, when he spoke of weekly activities or talked with friends about something he and his wife had done, he would use her name. He loved her. Using her name was an expression of that. In replying to him when he rapidly apologized for using the wrong name, I did not tell him, “That’s okay.” It’s not okay to be called by someone else’s name. Instead, I replied with, “I understand.” It’s very rare for it to happen, but I, as a second wife, have chosen to understand that when love runs deep, habits die hard. There’s actually a sense of security I receive from knowing that because Joe loved his first wife so intently, he will do the same for me. His character has not changed. In fact, if I arrive in heaven before Joe, I want him to remarry quickly (he would NOT make it well on his own…and he knows this!), and…sorry, but I hope he calls her “Brenda” at least a few times because of the depths of his love for me!

As for family adjustments, I count myself blessed. My husband’s only child is a grown daughter who is married and has two children, ages ten and thirteen. I am “Brenda” to all of them—by my choice and theirs. We have this amazing, growing, compassionate respect and understanding for all that has taken place over the last year, and I could not have handpicked a family any dearer to call my own. But like any good relationship, our family relationship is intentional: Joe and I have made a great effort to visit them often, and they have spent time here as well. We communicate freely; we respect the past and find hope in the future, and I couldn’t have mapped it out any better than it is. My husband’s grandsons have amazing grandparents on their father’s side, and I am grateful that they are not only the boys’ grandparents, but they are also our friends.

Joe’s brother and his family live out of state as well, and we are eagerly anticipating a trip to visit them. I respect them highly though I do not know them well yet at this point. However, I am already looking forward to getting to know them better when we are with them in person again! My siblings had the advantage of being family friends with Joe and his first wife for many years, so they love him as one of our own and have welcomed him in the same spirit of love that I have received. Sweet Mama considers him one of “her boys,” and that means a great deal to Joe—and to me.

My husband’s first wife’s family lives nearby, and we have enjoyed lunches and special celebrations with her siblings and other relatives. When Joe and I began dating, we often spoke of the “Ruth and Naomi” connection because of my living with my mom to assist her prior to my marriage to Joe. In the Bible, one of the verses Ruth speaks to Naomi is one whose words I have also spoken to Joe: “Your people will be my people.” For more than forty years, these dear ones were “his people” and his daughter’s “people.” Therefore, they are part of my circle now as well, and I am thankful that there is a connection there that is ongoing.

We live in the house where my husband and his first wife lived. We received adamant counsel from some friends to buy a new house, new furniture, new everything. We received adamant counsel on the other side as well. We chose what worked for us. I’m too practical to toss aside a beautiful home that serves our purpose and our location well. As a gift, I’ve been given amazing neighbors who have welcomed me with open arms! An even greater benefit is that Joe and I have had fun “repurposing” some of the furniture to new areas of the house. We’ve become HGTV groupies, gathering the latest ideas to help us “tweak” the next room in the house. In our bedroom, we got a new mattress and box springs, and we rearranged the room to make it “ours.” We followed this pattern in the living room, dining room, and family room as well. Our dishes were a wedding gift from my mom and brother, and the contents of the kitchen cupboards reflect our streamlined style of organization.

As for church, we attend the church where Joe has a been an active member for many years. I love the church and am now a member there also. Perhaps because these dear people knew Joe’s first wife so well, it is taking a little longer to forge lasting relationships there. Additionally, I have cut way back on my involvement because adjusting to married life was thrown a curve ball when both of us spent several weeks (as in seven, in my case) sick with colds and flu, and I have found that I like the role of wife far better than any other role I could add into my schedule just for the sake of being busy!

Here’s the bottom line: It was not a surprise to me that my husband was married before. I came into this knowing that there would be changes, adjustments, and new ways of doing things. But I also spoke my promised vows at the wedding from a heart that knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the words of Psalm 118:23 were true: “This is the LORD’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.” I love Joe Henderson, and I know that Joe Henderson loves me. And that turns every question mark that has arisen in this first two-thirds of this first year of marriage into giant exclamation points of God’s grace!

By Petals from the Basket | May 23, 2017 | Bible Reading, Events, Family, Friends, God-and-I-Time, Life Changes |

Recipe: “Come on Over” Salad (and Dressing)

It’s currently 85° in central Indiana, making it a perfect time to call a friend and say, “Come on over for a fresh summer salad!” However, in the spirit of honesty, the first friend I invited to enjoy this salad out our deck with me was my husband—mostly because I needed to get some pictures for this post! This is a great, no-fuss salad that probably seems too simple to need a recipe for, but my husband tells me that the dressing recipe alone is worth it all, and I think the arrangement of the ingredients is what makes this extra fun! So here you go!

But first, a disclaimer/explanation: I dislike salad dressings…all of them…and eat my salad “as is.” That’s probably why I always forget to buy salad dressing at the store and why I had to come up with a quick “stuff-I-already-have-on-hand” recipe of my own! So here’s the biggest tip I have for you on this recipe: Whatever spices you use to marinate or grill your meat should be added to your dressing—the “marriage” of flavors across the meal is a very pleasant result!

“Come on Over” Salad (and Dressing)

Prep time: 30 minutes-ish
Cooking time (chicken): 25–30 minutes-ish
Serves: 2
From the kitchen of Brenda Henderson

Ingredients (salad for two):

  • 1 red tomato, sliced and cubed
  • 3 stalks of celery, sliced and cubed
  • 10 mini carrots, sliced and cubed
  • 1/3 cucumber, sliced and cubed
  • 2 slices onion, sliced and cubed
  • 1 clementine, sectioned, then sliced (approx. 3 slices per section)
  • Green leafy lettuce (approximately 3–4 large lettuce leaves per person)
  • 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (marinated and seasoned to taste)

Directions (salad):

  1. A few hours before cooking the chicken breasts, marinate them in the dressing recipe below by simply placing the chicken breasts in an airtight container and pouring the salad dressing over the top. Cover. Place the container in the refrigerator until ready to cook.
  2. Prepare vegetables as described in the ingredient list. DO NOT MIX. These may be prepared ahead of time and kept cool in individual sandwich bags or airtight containers.
  3. Thirty minutes prior to meal time,** cook chicken on stove top or on grill. (Approximately 10 minutes per side, using medium-high heat.)
  4. Arrange all vegetables but the lettuce in small, separate mounds around the outside of each person’s plate. Try to alternate colors to bring out the variety of colors used (see photo).
  5. In the remaining open space at the center of the plate, shred or cut the lettuce to create a “bed” for the chicken.
  6. Place grilled chicken in the center of the bed of lettuce and serve. (Note: You may serve the chicken breast whole or dice into half-inch squares for bite-sized pieces.) Guests may blend ingredients together and add their own dressing.

**You may wish to serve the chicken cold, in which case you may cook it ahead of time and cut it into half-inch squares to place on the bed of lettuce. (Cold chicken is best served in cubes rather than as a whole chicken breast.)

Ingredients (salad dressing for two people; duplicate recipe for marinade for two chicken breasts):

  • 3 Tbsp olive oil
  • 1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tsp lemon juice (fresh-squeezed or bottled)

NOTE: The remaining ingredients are the spices we enjoy. Feel free to substitute these with your own favorites!

  • 1 tsp Montreal Steak Seasoning (optional, available at Sam’s Club)
  • ½ tsp Italian seasoning
  • ½ tsp thyme
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • ¼ tsp black pepper

Directions (salad dressing and marinade):

  1. Mix together duplicate recipes in separate glass jars or dressing cruets.
  2. Pour one completed recipe over chicken breasts to marinate prior to cooking.
  3. Serve the second completed recipe with salad at the meal. (For a fun twist, I like to place a one-serving recipe of this dressing in a mini “Mason Jar” and have it above the fork at each place setting.)

Happy entertaining!

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Be sure to watch for my next post, “My First Year As a Second Wife.” I am sharing some of the joys and exciting transitions that God has entrusted to me these past (almost) nine months, and I encourage you to watch for this helpful, Joe-approved article!

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By Petals from the Basket | May 18, 2017 | "Come on Over" Recipes, Entertaining, Family, Friends, Ideas |

Guiding Lights in the Dark

The Captain’s Corner

It’s a dark, murky, rainy night. The cockpit crew members are intently following the flight instruments while descending on the approach to landing. Outside the windshield is nothing but blackness. At two hundred feet above the ground, the co-pilot is now looking outside the cockpit: “I have the lights,” he calls out.

The pilot looks up from her instrument panel and quickly discerns the bright approach lights leading to the runway.

“Lights in sight. Landing,” the pilot states.

The landing is accomplished safely through the final guidance of the approach lights extending a half mile out from the end of the runway.

You may wonder what these lights look like from the viewpoint of those in cockpit. Rows of red and white lights looking like rungs of a ladder are laid out one after another, starting from the end of the runway. About one-third of the way back from this point a horizontal row of lights—designed to show that the runway is fast approaching—extends beyond the vertical rows, forming the appearance of a lowercase letter T. This arrangement of lights is the same across the world. By simply following these guiding lights, a pilot can easily recognize the approach of a runway that he or she has never landed on before.

What I find fascinating and meaningful about this standardized system of lights is not their color or brightness but their configuration. The approach light system is shaped like a cross, pointing toward the end of the runway. This reminds me of Christ’s words in John 14:6: “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Hymnwriter Jessie Pounds affirms this truth with her hymn, “The Way of the Cross Leads Home” (public domain):

I must needs go home by the way of the cross,
There’s no other way but this;
I shall ne’er get sight of the Gates of Light,
If the way of the cross I miss.

Refrain:
The way of the cross leads home,
The way of the cross leads home;
It is sweet to know, as I onward go,
The way of the cross leads home.

I must needs go on in the blood-sprinkled way,
The path that the Savior trod,
If I ever climb to the heights sublime,
Where the soul is at home with God.

Then I bid farewell to the way of the world,
To walk in it nevermore;
For my Lord says, “Come,” and I seek my home,
Where He waits at the open door.

What a wonderful truth from these guiding lights in the dark!

_______________________________________

Joe Henderson, Brenda’s husband, is a retired international airline captain and now blogs in “The Captain’s Corner” on a regular basis.

Be sure to join us back here on Thursday for one of Brenda’s “Come on Over” recipes for entertaining.

Would you like to receive these posts in your Inbox? We won’t spam you! You will only receive e-mails from us when a new post appears on the blog. Click here to subscribe.

By Petals from the Basket | May 16, 2017 | Bible Reading, The Captain's Corner |

But I’m Not a Mom

This post first appeared on the blog on May 9, 2014 and again on May 6, 2016 and May 12, 2017. Though I have removed one paragraph and tweaked a few words because my marital status has changed since the original post, my prayer is that it will once again serve as a reminder to all of us this Mother’s Day weekend.

_______________

With my sweet mama, whom I love, admire, and respect!

There is only one way for single and childless women to view Mother’s Day—the right way. There is no other option. So what is the right way? Let me partially answer that by first sharing what it is not.

On my sister Marcia’s birthday, it would be foolish for me to be upset, stay home from her birthday celebration to watch a sad movie, and eat ginormous amounts of Hot Tamales (my comfort food of choice) just because the celebration isn’t about me.

On my sister Karen’s wedding anniversary, it would have been obnoxious for me to have written a blog post in the years prior to my own marriage, asking the world to stop celebrating wedding anniversaries just because I didn’t have one to celebrate and telling them to be sensitive to my lack in their time of celebration.

Therefore, my single friends and friends without children, this coming Sunday, let’s celebrate our own mothers as well as mothers everywhere for the amazing work that they do. Do you seriously think that when the pastor of the church has mothers stand up to recognize them for their all-too-often thankless role in shaping the generation of the future that your spiritual leader is, in actuality, saying, “What I really want you to do is turn around and take note of all the women not standing and inwardly laugh hysterically that there must be something horribly wrong with them since they are either childless or, worse yet, without a spouse altogether”?

As harsh as it may sound, the answer is NO! This is not about you. [And in you, I include me!]

Too often, as singles or as those without children, we turn situation after situation into what we think is a time of “permissible whining” because we are spouseless or childless. Yes, those situations hurt—I understand…firsthand. But whining is not permissible, and it is not attractive!

We say that we trust God’s leading, but then we fail to trust Him enough to obey His commands:

“Do everything [yes, everything!] without grumbling….” —Philippians 2:14, NIV

“Give thanks in all [yes, all] circumstances….” —I Thessalonians 5:18, NIV

“Rejoice [yes, rejoice] with those who rejoice….” —Romans 12:15, NIV

WAIT! Don’t say it yet! Because I know what some of you are thinking: “But, Brenda, the second half of that last verse you posted reminds believers to ‘mourn with those who mourn.’ So I expect the street to go both ways!”

And you would be right. It should go both ways. But what if it doesn’t? Does that excuse you from rejoicing on their behalf, particularly, in this setting, as they rejoice in the role of motherhood? You know the answer.

So is it wrong to be sad that you are without a spouse or that you still don’t have children after many years of trying and praying for a child? Of course not. Just remember to keep it a desire and not a demand!

And more importantly, remember to rejoice with those who have been given what you long for. Focus on others this weekend. Applaud those amazing females when they stand in church during their far-too-brief moment of recognition! Look beyond your own garden and see the beautiful array of flowers that we all get the opportunity to celebrate this weekend!

I’m throwing in this final paragraph, even though it may seem to slightly contradict all of the above…well…because I can! One of my nieces calls me or texts me every year on Mother’s Day and thanks me for being “a woman of influence” in her life, knowing that my desire for motherhood is not one that will ever be fulfilled at this point and choosing to lift me up on a day when the evil ick whispers in my ear more often than he should be allowed to do! So let me encourage you—both married women and single women—to think of a single woman or a childless woman you could encourage this weekend by thanking her for her influence in your life. No, you’re not trying to make it a “substitute Mother’s Day” celebration for her—she’s not a mom. You are simply using this widely celebrated weekend that honors mothers as an impetus to celebrate women who have impacted your life! (In the process, it just may serve as a means to remind you that you’re not the only one who is not a mom.)

The bottom line? To my friends and family who are moms, I wish you the most joyful of all Mother’s Days! To my friends who, like myself, are not moms, I wish you a day of joy as you look outward and celebrate those who are!

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By Petals from the Basket | May 12, 2017 | Auntie Brenda (Dating/Singles), Bible Reading, Events, Family, God-and-I-Time, Life Changes |