We received the call that my friend had passed away. My mother and I hugged one another, prayed for her family, and went to two separate rooms of the house, each to experience our private grief in the ways necessary for each of us before reuniting to share our thoughts, memories, and more prayers.
My mother’s private grief was to release the tears that flowed from having lost a “mentee,” a beloved partner in gospel endeavors, and a long-time close, personal, and family friend.
My grief immediately worked its way from my heart to my fingers. My thoughts found their release through a blog post flooded with memories, lessons learned, and gratitude for a life well lived. (You may find that blog post here.)
I share the details of that first hour of our grief journey for this reason today: my heart generally finds its way into the words I share in written form.
Herein lies the dilemma for me.
Do I, as a blogger and writer, share my personal struggles, hurts, losses, and sorrows for the entirety of the web-world to read? Do I open my heart, attempting to encourage others walking similar journeys, while at the same time inviting into my openness the criticism, unkind responses, judgment, and misunderstanding that are inevitable when readers—myself included—read through the filters they knowingly or unknowingly wear, based on their own current struggles, biases, and victories?
You see, as one whose livelihood and being both involve skillfully forming thoughts into words, words into messages, and messages into tools with desired results, it would be easy to use my words as arrows of manipulation. On the other side, it would be easy to guard my words from the possible interpretations of others by writing of other things, thereby avoiding the dilemma of transparency versus caution—both viable alternatives.
As a woman of faith, I desire to use the unchanging truths of God’s Word (the Bible) as my guide, as the perfect example of how words can and should be used for good (even the ones that flow from rivers of sorrow or difficulties), and as the standard against which I line up my motives and desired results before clicking “Publish.”
Sometimes, that means I serve God and others best by using my talents, skills, and abilities to teach, share, delight, or even address an issue through an unveiled public post.
Sometimes, it requires me to follow the example of the most eloquent Man in history, Who, when facing His greatest opposition and some of His greatest earthly trials, chose silence. His was the incontestable example that the silence of one should not always be viewed as the victory of another.
He was oppressed and afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
Isaiah 53:7, NASB, emphasis mine
Lest my desires be mistaken for pious implications that I have perfected the choice for silence when needed, my friends and family can assure you that I have not. I am a work in progress. But progress is the first step toward “a desire accomplished” (Proverbs 13:19).
So will I continue to share the struggles, joys, difficulties, lessons, celebrations, and sorrows of my heart through the written word? Of course…and most likely with a renewed vigor.
By God’s strength, help, and guidance, however, I will strive more than ever to share with wisdom-guided, grace-guarded transparency.
Let me encourage you to do the same.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.
