Gentlemen, this post is exclusively for you. Yes, it will take you a few minutes to read it, but it will most likely save you hours—if not days—of having to serve “penance” for getting the “wrong” gift for Valentine’s Day this year (like the man who bought his wife a red vacuum or the husband who gave his wife a very expensive yet VERY tacky purse in the past)! Oh, and, in advance…you’re welcome!

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“Hi, Auntie Brenda! You prayed me through my first date with K. almost 16 years ago, and now I need another favor. Will you ask your blog readers for ideas on what I can give my beautiful wife for Valentine’s day this year? I know it’s coming soon, but I seem to blow it every year!” This adorable e-mail from one of graduates of the college where I worked in the late nineties went on to say that he has bought some really nice things for his sweet wife (whom I know well and love dearly), but they just don’t ever seem to be what she really wants.

Yes, it’s ironic to ask a 53-year-old never-been-married woman for Valentine’s Day gift ideas, but then again, “my boys” know I’ve got their backs, and I’ll move heaven and earth to help them out! So, I did what all good bloggers do. I posted a “HELP!” status on Facebook and got comments, replies, private messages, phone calls, and e-mails from all my gals! In fact, I got over 120 replies in less than three hours—on a Sunday afternoon! The request was that they simply share one or two of their favorite gifts ever—or a gift that they would most love to receive. (Thanks, ladies!)

Gentlemen, whether you are just off the high of a first date or off the charts in the number of years you’ve been married, I do believe we can help you to make your Valentine very, very happy this year!

What might surprise you the most is that very, very—seriously, very—little was said about expensive things! So don’t waste your money. I mean it. The commercials with the expensive things are cool, don’t get me wrong, but they are not what these women stated as their favorite gifts ever. Score one for Auntie Brenda in saving you some money! So here’s the list—and for fun, I threw in a few of the comments that went along with the suggestions! I also included the number of years that they’ve been dating or have been married.

Write her a card or a letter, telling her the things you like/love about her. Seriously. Just do it.

Elaine T. –  Cards – my hubby has a hard time finding just the right one so I find cards under my pillow, in my desk, under the plate, etc., and they all speak to my heart from his. [40 years]

Deanna B. – He wrote a letter to me about the specific things about me that he loves/admires/appreciates. Any gift that shows a lot of purposeful thought melts me. Very material things are nice, but they don’t touch deep into my soul. 

Kathy H. – Last year on our 25th anniversary, M. wrote me a letter. An amazing letter that I will never show anyone else because of how special it is. Everything he loves about me (maybe no one else would love it, but HE does!). I will always treasure it and the time he put into it. He also got me a diamond necklace, and I love it… but not more than the letter. [25 years]

Kimberly P. – A handwritten poem  [25 years in April]

Replenish the supply of her favorite everyday things. In other words, if she loves pens with pink ink, give her pens with pink ink. She merely wants to know that you know what she likes!

Jane K. – A bag of Dove dark chocolate! [29 years]

Courtney B. – Favorite small gift – A piggy bank filled with Lindt dark truffles to replace my piggy bank he had just broken (oops) weeks before. [5 years]

Cindy K. – Godiva chocolate [27 yrs]

Brenda S. – A single yellow rose! (Oddly enough, I don’t even like red roses, so if he honors what I love, I’m sure to melt!) [blog owner privilege]

Elizabeth C. –  I LOVE flowers, but more often my husband will bring me specialty food items that aren’t always in the normal food budget (yummy olives, brie cheese, amazing chocolate). [13 years]

Karen C. – Every year he buys me a book. Because of all materials possessions…it’s what we love most. I have 25 books signed with his hand, personal message, date, and reason he chose that book. It’s my favorite shelf in the case.

Leah J. – Chocolate-covered strawberries is a favorite. [7 years]

Miriam S. – I love chocolates. Ones that are special and delicious. Not the local grocery store special. My cousin makes delicious ones that look beautiful as well. Even people who think they don’t like chocolate like her chocolates. [Okay, guys, I’m even including ordering info for this one! Tomorrow is the last day for her 10% off your order sale. The coupon code is VALENTINE14. Order at www.TheCocoaFlower.com.]

Similar to the previous one, make a “bouquet” out of her favorite treats or small, inexpensive items. (There’s a reason that nearly everyone woman who watches You’ve Got Mail sighs longingly when she hears Tom Hanks speak the words: “I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils!”)

Christina H. – Best ever: Slurpee with a “bouquet” of straws. He knew my true heart’s desire! [11 years]

Bethamy C. – Red bouquet of Twizzlers [21 years]

Tickets to a concert or special event—meaning that you’ll have a night out together to make and/or share a memory.

Katie D. – Favorite valentines gift was Chris Tomlin concert tickets. We wait to celebrate til the concert, too, which allows you to avoid the masses. We’re doing the same thing this year with Casting Crowns, can’t wait! [9 years]

Diane D. – Surprise dates, especially a play or concert & dinner out. [28.5 years]

Carolina G. – Last Valentine’s Day, we had only been dating about three months. He gave me tickets to the museum, and he promised me that he would do everything he could to enjoy our time there, since he usually hates museums. He was so sweet and didn’t complain once—at least not so I could hear it! But…we’re still together! [Dating: 15 months]

Greta T. – He gave me movie tickets and let me pick the movie. How cool is that?

Jewelry—and it doesn’t need to be diamonds!

Emily P. – Anything he makes. He made a really cool necklace holder out of wood with Anthropologie knobs one year. At Christmas he made me jewelry. [3 years]

The gift of time. Yes, gentlemen, just simple, undistracted time made the list almost twenty times! And it’s FREE!

Rebecca C. – Really, I just like it when we sit and sing our hearts out while he plays guitar and makes me laugh because he forgot the lyrics….again (so cute!). Also, the coffee shop down the street with lots of good conversation.

Pam F. – Watching a good romantic movie with a roaring fire in the fireplace and candlelight everywhere and romantic snacks (chocolate-covered strawberries, cheese and crackers and other creative specialties) and bubbly apple cider!! A perfect romantic night!!

Dinner out together—or some sort of “date night” – Be sure to arrange the childcare for added points!

Zoe T. – We were still in college, and neither of us had much money, but we still say that this was our best Valentine’s Day ever! He asked me early in the week what I wanted to do. Which, right there was awesome because I knew he was planning ahead! ha-ha! Anyhow, we each got to spend $5.00 on items from the dollar menu at McDonald’s. We wore jeans and sweatshirts, sat in the corner booth, and had a blast just laughing and getting to talk because we weren’t trying to impress each other! [8 years]

Sarah A. – A date out together, especially if he arranges childcare. [12 years]

Jessica C. – A quiet dinner date with quality conversation is all I ever really want. [12 years]

Melanie B. – A coupon to have a date with her when and where she wants schedule it. Needs to have a time limit, expiration date, amount willing to spend, etc. Also, a couple’s massage is nice. [30 years]

Shawn M. – Dinner out at favorite steak place – that covers both of us! (AND my favorite rainbow sherbet at Baskin Robbins!!!) Love flowers but have always told him I feel like it’s wasting money, since they only last days. : )

Tristan K. – Probably just a dinner date. Hoping this year for a piece of our favorite chocolate cake in this area. [15 years]

Donna G. – Dinner out. [35 years]

Provide the means for her to enjoy something that means a lot to her—like time with a friend, a spa day, or a “day off!”

Katina V. – A day or two off the Kitchen would be great!

Jenny H. – A day off to do what I like—go write at Starbucks, shop with a friend, etc.

Priscilla G. – Best one was a gift certificate for an hour massage…I really needed that, practical is always best for me. [29 years]

Gaby R. – Him making dinner [39 years]

Sandy T. – Massage, nail & pedicure things I don’t do for myself very often. [25 years]

A trip or overnight getaway—near or far isn’t as important as the fact that you’re together!

Rhonda B. – Posting from Jamaica…a week at an all-inclusive resort is a pretty good Valentines day present! [12 years]

Shelley C. – When we were married almost 5 years, pregnant with child #2, he was a poor student working on his M. Div. and he planned an overnight at a local hotel, arranged childcare, packed for me, and had a helicopter pick us up in our front yard! COMPLETE SURPRISE TO ME! We had a lovely dinner, night, breakfast, and then on our way home he stopped at a shoe store and since it was Valentine’s Day he bought me a pair of red shoes and they were my favorite for many years!!!

Marta H. – Night or weekend away. Ours was San Fran. [30 years]

Cheryl H. – One of the best gifts was a night away, planned by Jerry, loaded with flowers, candy, hot tub, and my favorite glycerin hand cream. [41 years]

Complete a household chore or a task that keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the to-do list.

Karen C. – One year he vacuumed my high ceilings for me.

Beth P. – He made a list of home-improvement projects and asked me to choose the top three. He gave me a signed promise that they would be completed in the month of February. The next year I got diamond earrings, but I honestly liked the completed projects better!

Photos are big right now. Arrange for a couple’s session sometime in the near future!

Kelly G. – I’ve never received this but I think any woman would love a photo book of their years together.

Amy M. – We had a couple’s session with a photographer and then when out for dinner since we were looking our best! Those are my favorite pictures of us—second only to our wedding photos! [1 year]

Something meaningful.

Laurie P. – [This was a Facebook post favorite for many] Anything that creates an experience that becomes a memory. (Ex: food tour/taste testing in a big city). Anything that relieves stress and responsibility. (Ex: take kids out of house for day, or cleaning house—according to my standards). Anything that shows that he really knows me and my tastes (Ex: a bunch of green apple blow pops).

A gift that keeps giving—because you never know what the future holds. 

(I included this one because this dear friend lost her husband this past year, but she shared her special gift, and I thought it was awesome!)

Becky H. – The best gift that Larry gave to me was wind chimes! That was the year that I began learning so much more about God’s grace. Anyway, he found wind chimes that play the first few notes of Amazing Grace!  We had 25 years, 1 month, and 2 days together in marriage. Those chimes still hang outside my kitchen, reminding me of God’s amazing grace.

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Well, gentlemen, there you have it. Memories, meaningful gifts, and moments together seem to be the things that most make her happily sigh, “Mmm!”

I’d love for you to message me your follow-up stories—appropriate stories only, please. In the near future, we’ll share a few of them! But I won’t post yours if you ask me not to! [PetalsfromtheBasket(at)gmail(dot)com]

Happy Valentine’s Day from Auntie Brenda! 

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If you haven’t joined in on our February contest yet, there’s still plenty of time, and the prizes are AWESOME!

Click here to learn about the 2014 WRW Month Contest and to access the report form.

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