Maybe it’s the lack of chocolate overload that my body and brain were getting accustomed to. Maybe it’s the sore muscles that have actually been used recently. Maybe I’ve just heard too many amazing young women lately, asking, “What’s wrong with me?” But whatever the cause, “Auntie Brenda” is a bit miffed. In fact, you might even go so far as to say that Pollyanna has left the building!

Tuesday is the day that I pray for singles—young ones, old ones, males, females—all of them! I started this in 1997 when I worked at a small Christian college, and the sweet, nervous young men would come to “Auntie Brenda’s” desk and get dating advice or talk over who they were hoping to ask out. I hosted more “let’s just get a group together and hang out first to see how it goes” events in my house out in the woods than I ever dreamed possible! But I loved every minute of it, and I love that some of them are together to this day, and that some realized there was something or someone different in store for them.

Just remember this: just because a woman or man is not married doesn’t mean they don’t want to be married. They’re just not married. Do I think that God chooses for every person to be married? No, I don’t. In fact, it’s probably close to impossible, based on the ratio of males to females—at least in the US. But I’ll save that info for a future post. Today is about Auntie Brenda givin’ some young un’s (and maybe even some old un’s) the what-for.

What ever happened to dating? And for criminy crickets, what ever happened to the courageous young men who said early in the week, “Are you available for dinner on Friday evening?” I’m honestly clueless as to what kind of courage that must take—and I’m sure it takes a lot—but muster up that courage and…no…that’s not strong enough: MAN UP and ASK her out on a real, honest-to-goodness date!

Girls, ladies, friends, princesses, and precious gems, WHEN he asks, remember that he is asking you to dinner (an event, a movie, a game night at his own “Auntie Brenda’s” abode, or to something else that could be considered a “date”); he is NOT asking for your hand in marriage. LIGHTEN UP! No wonder he’s terrified to ask!

And precious females, we’ve all done it—I’ve done it—but do NOT invite yourself out with him or manipulate events to get to be with him. The fun is awesome until it’s time to go home, and then you’ll carry with you that feeling of knowing that the only reason you were there was because you showed up, not because he wanted to be with you enough to ask. LET him ask you out. Oh, for heaven’s sake—MAKE him ask you out. If he’s too fearful, and he doesn’t ask and, heaven forbid, you have to stay home that night or do something with “the girls,” it’s OKAY! It doesn’t mean you’re unloved, unworthy, unchosen, unpopular, or unbeautiful (is that even a word?)! It means that guy didn’t ask for that event. It might mean he never will. It might mean he was at his cousin’s Bar Mitzvah in Pittsburgh. Just think on what is true and move on to the next events of the day. Remember: “Except the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain that build it!” (Psalm 127:1) He’s got every other element of your life covered. Let God do this too—and no, He doesn’t need your help!

But men, it’s time. I’m tired of all this. I’m too old to hold your hands any longer and guide you through it. I know I’m old-fashioned. I know I’m not totally PC with all this. I know women have brains and rights and courage and abilities. But I also know that you, my dear men, need to pick up the phone, give her a call, send her an e-mail, walk up to her in person—or however you choose to courageously approach her—and stop thinking, “Well, it’s her turn to call me.” CALL HER. ASK HER. INVITE HER.

I know this isn’t my “prettiest” post. But it’s necessary.  Don’t MAKE me get all “Auntie Brenda” up in here again. Pick. up. that. phone. There are some amazing women who might just think that you’re amazing men!